Apostasy Now: Redux

There’s an innocence about her

To cause hesitation in myself

Once a fragile man, hardened

By the extreme conditions

In this cruel vain wasteland

Of the users and used up, torn

Between the desire to close in

And the fear of losing sight

Of who I am, a mistake

I long not to repeat

But a predicament to reoccur

Throughout this strange life

For everything repeats

Not just history


Still Smokin’


I began watching Cheech and Chong films
at an early age, too young to even know
the medicinal properties of cannabis.
But I knew I wanted to live my life
just like them.

Sure, they had outrageous dreams
like anyone else, but they were out there
really living life without hesitation 
and didn't stagnate in the workforce
like so many of us.
They made money where they could
while getting high and chasing women
through the streets. 

So it should come as no surprise that
in my late twenties while renting a house
on Buffalo's west side
I'd been busted on several occasions
by the same two cops 
driving around with my roommate Tony
getting high and chasing women 
through the streets.

These two cops were cool.
They had bigger things to worry about
like junkies, rapists and killers.

They'd always let us go,
only to pull us over a week later,
smile and say

"Well, if it isn't Cheech and Chong"

A Human just Being


I tend to doze off

Like a carefree cat

Any chance I get

Mostly out of boredom

With the working world

My body is well rested

I lack no sleep

Mind empty every night

To awaken thirsting

For knowledge, balanced hearth

And of unfiltered compassion

For all creatures sharing Earth

Unwanted Guests

Upon awakening this morning
on route to brew coffee and
feed the cat I noticed
an army of ants dragging crumbs
of her dry food around.

Annoying, but still better
than sneaky roaches, rats
and awful people.

Especially people.

Nothing worse than waking up
after a night of drinking and
finding one of those creatures
stinking up the place.

Desensitized Drive


The closer you get to the city
things that would normally be strange
or cause for alarm
are quite commonplace. Like today
I passed an abandoned tractor-trailer
that apparently never made
its destination Dollar General
and a fairly new Jeep
left in the road, awkwardly leaning
on the front right axle, a block away
from where they found
a young girl frozen stiff,
dead from a fentanyl fix.

In my despair

In moments of frailty

I render myself

Completely incompatible

In relation to others

Or so it seems

The length of time alone

A definitive impact

Not to mention

The blurred vision, hysteria

Or so it seems

With grace overshadowed

By pain and deformity

In a time where

Physical imperfections

Never go unnoticed

And kindness

Often does


Spies in a Fiberglass Slave Ship

Didn't see any wolves
while in London, confident

Same wolves run aground
every continent

Bankrupt the people
Staged uncivil war

Same claw hammers
the nails on your cross, coffin

Tearing the familiar
flesh of all freedoms

Same ancestral agonies
return to form

Drunk on the marrow
From the bone of our Constitution

Mortar for the bricks
in the socialist wall

Welcome Oblivion

Seems to me that
most people would rather complain
than solve their respective problems
in this country.
They need something to boast 
or whine about
on their multiple social networks, 
but don't offer solutions,
just acknowledge your awareness
of their great dilemma.
There can be no way
you'll understand their situation
in their arrogant mind,
it's all about them.
The world is against them alone,
though they live (or attempt to)
just like all of the other sheep
awaiting orders, commands
to be herded 
with the rest of the followers and
if they can afford current fashion
you won't even tell them apart.

Now, one of my last few friends
stopped talking to me,
For when he complained
and I gave my advice
it countered what he thought
to be true
and now our friendship seems false.

I've grown accustomed to loss
being born lost,
so I don't really give a damn.

Don't ask why I keep to myself.

3000 Doses and Human Teeth

That's what the man held in his hands
as he nonchalantly entered the supermarket 

and another headline read
"Man posing as cop busted by cop, cops say"

and female school teachers 
are fucking teen students
and overstimulated students
are fucking a world
of diminishing intelligence 
and government-run media
is fucking us all
with pharmaceutical ads,
divisive televised programs
and forced tainted vaccinations
to narcotize the gullible populace

Now abrasions scar the backs
of surviving truthtellers
and yea-sayers 

and he nonchalantly entered the supermarket
with 3000 doses of heroin and human teeth

Seems the world I knew
is dead and gone

...like the poor fellow lying
somewhere devoid of teeth